Today (any day) was a nice day... I won a big
prize in a competition, then I came home as it was Sunday and we had a family reunion with all of my cousins, aunts, uncles... everyone... All felt quite nice, we had a glass of wine, a laugh, a chat, until my aunt which was 5 months pregnant started to fell ill. We called the ambulance. I don't really like these moments... I just stood in the room and watched things flow around me. another hysterical aunt of mine, with her annoying thin voice, came rushing through me and to the small crowd that surrounded my delirious pregnant aunt like a dead body, to throw the glass of water she was carrying on the desperate woman. Her husbanded had fallen on a chair and seemed lost in space. All this time I could hear cries of help all over. The red and blue lights of the ambulance splatted all over the walls of the living room and paramedics came rushing in. I couldn't bear the atmosphere as it was getting to heavy for my shoulders, instead I decided to head to my room and lock myself in. I staid there, taping my foot angrily. I started to bite my nails as i usually did when I was nervous. I felt a trace of guilt for leaving that woman there all by herself.. but I really couldn't have done more for her as the flock surely wouldn't have let me.
The funny thing from the whole amalgam of thoughts worrying me at the time was that i hadn't found out about the baby till one month ago. I've never seen him, but it felt so precious to me. I considered it, in my subconscious, a sacred being. That fragile, little life should have a chance, only one to grow into a wonderful human being. It wasn't my child... and other children can be made as long as the mother is well, but the regret of the baby's death was the most prominent of the thoughts. It was the strangest feeling.
A baby... condemned ...
By(for)... someone else... on 16th may 2008... (Placebo - Pure Morning)
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