Love me! (writing attempt)

Love me!

And when I say love me it does not mean compliment me, and kiss me, or lick my neck and stroke my hair... it means love me!
See me always as a muse, protect me from other people's dirt, hide me somewhere far from all mean eyes, tell me true stories with guilty eyes and hope I forgive you. Vibrate at once with my movement cause you know I spare words and gestures just for you. Don't insult me though I deserve it or not and you will be happier that way, I assure you. Don't use words too often cause then they will lose their power over me. Let me read your glowing, mesmerizing eyes and no spoken words will be needed between us. Take patience with you and leave out all expectations and only so you will enter a beautiful world of mine. Be kind to me and tender and then I’ll follow you to any bleakness of the world. Remember that the chains of imprisonment put by my love for you will make me neglect my being and breathe only to enchant you... remember that for you I will forget myself... and with this in mind take care of me, don't let me be without the things my person longs for... Love me with all the resources you have: your mind, your body and your soul. Control me and be gentle as I could break as easily as a soap bubble. Be passionate and be platonic, and so fill my heart with joy. Listen to me because I say little and every whisper has a hidden meaning and only you posses the code...

And though, if you break me and rip my heart to pieces, burn it and then spread it with the wind of the sea, I swear that all the plants and the fish and substance that will grow of this ash will grow loving you, with the sole purpose of making you smile, without letting you know from whom, without letting you know how.

Forgive me for all I do because I love you too much.

Hai!

M-am săturat de atâtea începuturi de poveste frumoasă care se termină brusc ca un vis de noapte... ca un vis de zi... M-am săturat ca oriunde te caut, în momentul în care aproape te-am găsit, tu să te spulberi în mii de fărămi de cenuşă şi să reînvii altundeva, departe. M-am săturat să stau. M-am săturat să alerg. M-am săturat să vă daţi toţi cu părerea despre viitor

ul meu când nici nu ştiţi cine sunt de fapt. M-am săturat de atâtea chemări care nu au continuitate:

Hai!

Hai să ne ţinem de mână şi-atunci cu mâinile împreunate nimic nu ne va mai putea opri să zburăm şi să plutim până în cer...
Hai să facem o prăjitură cu merele de la bunica şi să o ducem vecinului cu ochi albaştrii...
Hai să mergem la şcoală pe alt drum şi dacă nu vom ajunge la timp vom da vina pe trotuar, care azi era mai departe de drum decât ieri...
Hai să ascultăm muzică... Nu! Hai să ne facem propia muzică în mijlocul câmpului sub singurul copac în timp ce eu îţi voi agăţa o zambilă în păr...
Hai să facem îngeraşi în zăpadă...
Hai să ne stabilim propiul nostru timp... să nu mai fie zi... să nu mai fie noapte... să fim doar noi !
Hai!

Da... Hai! dar nu chiar acum...

La mulţi ani zânelor! ...

Cu toţii cunoaştem acele "zâne" minunate care ne fac zilele, dacă nu mai frumoase, cel puţin mai amuzante.
Logica m-a dus cu gândul la zâna noastră cu privirea aceea pătrunzătoare, care pare că se învârte o dată cu camera de la substanţele nocive consumate şi explodează
cu un rânjet extrem de brusc până la urechi.
Şi apoi mai sunt acei fluturi de fete care, în timp ce îşi şterg mucozităţile de mâneci şi scuipă coji de seminţe ca stropitorile, se oftică pentru că ceilalţi nu le recunosc calităţile şi talentul. Sau, în timp ce îşi arată "calităţile" în toate modurile posibile nu pot să înţeleagă cum nu au trecut de preselecţia MegaStar. (Să menţionam şi varianta rock a piţipoancelor - fetele emo...)
Mai sunt şi florile acelea de dame care te fac incult, needucat, puşlama, prost etc. deşi nu te cunosc, şi după ce se scarpină una bună cine ştie pe unde îşi cumpară

un măr de la tarabă şi îl îmbucă cu poftă.
Să amintim şi doamnele cu un buchet mare de primăveri în urmă care stau la în mijlocul trecerii de pietoni şi dacă se întâmplă ca un şofer să le claxoneze, ca să le trezească, nu de alta, îi dau una cu geanta în numărul de înmatriculare de i se deschide airbagul!
Din nefericire acestea vor mai trăi mulţi ani.

Pentru femei însă, la mulţi ani!

It's great to be a woman!

Where is the love?

Another celebrity wedding... the bride is pregnant! -- Nothing new.
Why is it people cannot follow the natural cycle of life anymore? You are supposed to be born, grow up, fall in love, get your heart broken, fall in love (again), get married, have children as a symbol of your love or for the satisfaction of giving life, have a mid-age crisis, become a grandparent, peacefully die.
But now you have a crisis, you have children, you get married, then grow up. Or is this how it always was? Maybe ... though then why is everybody putting so much emphasis on love? I mean every single one of us hopes to discover this thing everyone talks about as being miraculous but only find disappointments. Even the movie "Sex and the city" was about finding Love.
Do not misunderstand me i'm just talking about our Way to finding this miraculous thing. And there is the other thing, even if we look at love straight in the eye, we can spend half of our lifes searching for the courage to grab it, or doubting that it is real...
The greatest story about love slipping through your fingers because of the same hezitations is presented in the french movie "Love me if you dare".

I truly belive everything is as good, as mesmerising as you, yourself make it. The things you truly belive are more real than others' reality. Of course it is hard to belive something if everywhere you go someone tells you that you are wrong... Because of this we can only find happiness, even in our dreams, within the conceptions of the majority...
I mean who is to say which things are wrong and which are good if there were no other people at all? Who is to say which is love and which is hate?

A bad day...

Today (any day) was a nice day... I won a big

prize in a competition, then I came home as it was Sunday and we had a family reunion with all of my cousins, aunts, uncles... everyone... All felt quite nice, we had a glass of wine, a laugh, a chat, until my aunt which was 5 months pregnant started to fell ill. We called the ambulance. I don't really like these moments... I just stood in the room and watched things flow around me. another hysterical aunt of mine, with her annoying thin voice, came rushing through me and to the small crowd that surrounded my delirious pregnant aunt like a dead body, to throw the glass of water she was carrying on the desperate woman. Her husbanded had fallen on a chair and seemed lost in space. All this time I could hear cries of help all over. The red and blue lights of the ambulance splatted all over the walls of the living room and paramedics came rushing in. I couldn't bear the atmosphere as it was getting to heavy for my shoulders, instead I decided to head to my room and lock myself in. I staid there, taping my foot angrily. I started to bite my nails as i usually did when I was nervous. I felt a trace of guilt for leaving that woman there all by herself.. but I really couldn't have done more for her as the flock surely wouldn't have let me.

The funny thing from the whole amalgam of thoughts worrying me at the time was that i hadn't found out about the baby till one month ago. I've never seen him, but it felt so precious to me. I considered it, in my subconscious, a sacred being. That fragile, little life should have a chance, only one to grow into a wonderful human being. It wasn't my child... and other children can be made as long as the mother is well, but the regret of the baby's death was the most prominent of the thoughts. It was the strangest feeling.

A baby... condemned ...

By(for)... someone else... on 16th may 2008... (Placebo - Pure Morning)